So, it's day 12 and this week has been really rough. My husband is out of town and I've been wrangling dogs, kids and life, by myself. This wouldn't be so bad if I had not started my period. When I posted my post on day five about TRIGGERS I didn't even think about my menstrual cycle.
My time of month is so uncomfortable in many ways. Physically, socially and mentally. Because of this discomfort, I've always spent most of the red week, drinking. Not only did I crave more booze, I was less inhibited and I would abuse more so than I would during a regular time. I wonder why that is?
So, this week with all of the regular stress, stress of having my partner gone, stress of a new, but totally lovely and worth it, puppy, I've been dealing with the red eyed monster. The result of this has been a lot of negative self talk about rewarding myself with a glass of wine on Friday night. Luckily, I stumbled upon Anne's entry yesterday, and it's got me in a good head space. I will just have to take today one minute at a time.
When is this going to get easier?
It will get easier, but the beginning is a whirlwind of feeling, anger, regret, fear, hope, glimpses of happiness and peace. I had an up minute followed by deep lows. It's a roller coaster.
ReplyDeleteBut change and pain seem to go together if the change is to be valued and worthwhile. And this change definitely is.
My own monthly pms issues were extreme. I became very very depressed for a few days each month. The first month of sobriety it was scary. I eventually accepted that I was actually clinically depressed and tried an antidepressant. That's not the answer for everyone, but it was clear even to me that my thoughts were not right.
Create your safe zone. Have some treats, warm bubble baths, fancy non alcoholic drinks, a massage. Whatever it takes to get through the hard days.
It all becomes easier and clearer.
Anne
Oh, honey. I've been on anti-depressants for years. Currently, I'm on a combo of Prozac and Wellbutrin and they are working well. However, when I'm on my cycle, all bets are off. I really just have to be mindful the entire time, communicate with my loved ones, and keep the apologies coming..... Or take horse tranquilizers and wake up when it's over. :)
Delete