Morning Thoughts

I like to read astrology. I don't know if I "BELIEVE" in it, but I do find coincidences in sign traits and even monthly events that keep me hooked. According to Susan Miller, the full moon on the 14th of this month was a DOOZY and has really sent a lot of people into a tailspin. I know I've been having my issues! 

However, this harkens back to responsibility. The full moon may have given me extra anxiety, but it is not responsible for my binge drinking and then driving and then getting arrested. That is all my fault and a result of my poor decisions. If I have to call that anything mystical, it's divine intervention.  

This is what I'm meditating on today: 

The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.

That sentiment is very important to me and my recovery. I am a person who is always trying to find coincidences linking my past to the present and seeing how they are repeating themselves. This is an exercise in futility and it keeps me from living in the present. Who cares what happened ten years ago? It's gone. Over. Done. Finished. MOVE ON. Stop self flagellating for these past transgressions.  

I'm carrying that into therapy today because my husband holds onto the past and things that I thought we had conquered, will rear their ugly heads in the heat of anger. I want this to stop, not just for us, but for him. It's got to be very hard to be so angry over something that happened so long ago..... Just like I know how hard it is to keep picking the scab of a long past wound you just won't let heal. 

We need some healing. Let's start today. 

Day Five with the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.