Last night was hard for me. I wa lonely and really triggered to drink. I'm a person who loves to be alone, but then, out of nowhere, will just start to feel super isolated and lonely and my go to was always wine. I had to sit through my uncomfortable feelings last night, have a boo hoo sesh, then meditate and then I made some dinner. It wasn't like the experience magically turned into "OMG SO GREAT!", it was melancholy and blah, but the silver lining is that I didn't drink. I don't like being uncomfortable with my feelings, so I used to just turn the off. It's a tough lesson to learn; how to sit with your feelings when you're sad and angry, but it's vital to survival.
Luckily, my husband came home and had dinner with me. That, combined with some food, made me feel better. Dinner was really yummy and I let myself have two pieces of angel food cake for dessert. (I worked out hard yesterday, burned over 1000 calories).
Boredom is starting to set in, so I need to keep myself busy. I also let someone under my skin this morning. He's my friend, but he's really sexist and doesn't realize it, which is a bummer.
Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
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